Should airport goodbyes have a time limit?

The Dunedin airport in New Zealand is asking its passengers to catch flights, not feelings. It is putting a three-minute cap on goodbye hugs. But the airport is a repository of goodbyes. The landing and take-off of flights is akin to the rising and dropping heartbeats of people coming to drop off their loved ones. What follows is hugs, tears and smiles. In India, relatives, family members and spouses come to see off their loved ones. Several college-going people and their parents have an airport see-off story. What these prolonged goodbye sessions do is cause crowding issues. But should airports set a time limit on goodbyes like New Zealand’s Dunedin airport?
Though Dunedin airport isn’t using a hug police yet, it has ensured that people are reminded of the cuddle cap. It has put a sign of the three-minute rule right at the centre of the airport.
“Max hug time 3 minutes,” it reads. It also asks people to head to the parking lot for “fonder farewells”, reported the Associated Press.
The airport has also given a reason why it capped hugs at three minutes.
It is “plenty of time to pull up, say farewell to your loved ones and move on,” CEO Dan De Bon told AP. “The time limit is really a nicer way of saying, you know, get on with it.”
Dunedin is not the only airport with a time limit on hugs.
The Aalborg airport in Denmark also has a similar sign that says, “kiss and goodbye”. It then goes on to say, “no kisses above three minutes”.
In India, there are no cuddle caps, passengers standing with their loved ones for too long are told to wind up quickly by security officials at the airport.
Marshals are often seen at Delhi’s IGI Airport rushing people. The exercise is intended to keep the vehicular traffic flowing.
The goodbye time limits at airports is to ensure smoother traffic movement and prevent overcrowding of travellers and their relatives.
But what do people think about a hug limit at the airports?
We know that absence makes the heart grow fonder. However, it might also be true that just the thought of a loved one’s absence makes the heart grow fonder, hence the long goodbyes at airports.
Several Indians have discussed their experience of parting with their loved ones at airports.
For first-time travellers, it is not just an experience of travelling. It involves going to a new place without the support of one’s parents. It is also saying goodbye to parents and starting a new chapter of life.
“The most emotional scenes at airports are parents dropping their children who are going abroad to study. Kids are visibly anxious but excited, parents are all choking up but smiling. Dads saying ‘Dhyan rakhje beta’ to their daughters while moms are giving last-moment instructions about whom to meet on landing and which bag thepla is packed in,” wrote an X user based in Ahmedabad.
It is also the anxiety of living a life outside the comfort of one’s home.
“Been there, done that. When I left at 20, I had a shiver run down my spine, which was the only time I’ve felt it in 30 years of my life. I didn’t know that saying and never thought physically something like this could happen, because after I walked a bit ahead and my whole family was behind me, I realised – Holy shit! I’m on my own from here on,” wrote another X user.
This is a common experience of several Indians.
Then comes the difficulties that come with Indian goodbyes.
“Indian goodbyes are like the opposite of Irish goodbyes. You say bye to approximately 1 million aunties, uncles, and cousins in a process that takes like 3 hours. (one bouncer was like “some of you all have hugged each other twice, please leave”)
It is true that goodbyes take time. And this isn’t just for airports.
While science says that even hugging for 20 seconds can decrease stress levels.
Research by the US-based National Institute of Health (NIH) discusses how a Trier Social Stress Test study revealed both men and women had lower stress response makers when they hugged a loved one for 20 seconds and held the hands of their loved ones for ten minutes.
Even in hugs and comforting, there are several levels: survival, maintenance and growth.
“We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth,” Virginia Satir, a famous family therapist stated, according to Forbes.
But all the hugs don’t need to be at airports.
Having said that, it is also true that because of higher stress levels to do with air travel and changed locations, people need more comfort, according to research by the American Psychological Association.
Here, comforting words, hugs, holding hands and taking some piece of home to the new location helps.
For this reason, a cap on airport hugs might not work in several cases. Parents even see off their kids till they can no longer see them in the airport.
“The parent-child relationship is the same at all airports of the world. It is difficult to hide tears or say goodbye with a smile, like this mother staring till her child went out of sight at Ranchi Airport. I am sure we all have experienced or lived this difficult emotion in our life,” wrote an X user.
It is also that sometimes the extended family comes to see off a family member at airports.
“What about people whose entire family comes to see them off? Will every single person get three minutes each,” asks an X user from New Zealand.
Several passengers are sure to catch both flights and feelings at the airports, and they should be allowed to have their goodbye hugs. Meanwhile, embracing a self-imposed time limit to help fellow travellers won’t be a bad idea.